RAMBLING, IDENTITY CRISIS, WORDS OF WISDOM

Hello guys! I’m sorry for the week-long absence, I guess I just needed a few days to myself. I’m kind of having an identity crisis, because I’m in a rut when it comes to bujoing/journaling. It makes me feel like such a failure that the one of the things I consider to be the biggest parts of my personality doesn’t spark the same joy at the moment. I thought it was part of “the real deal”, but now I’m lost. Have I been faking it? Is there any part of me that is truly “me”? Am I even real? I’m spiralling down in those thoughts. But over to something that is a bit more fun…

I bought a Switch! Impulse? Comfort-buy? Reward? Search for a new piece of identity? Ooo, shiny? I don’t know, maybe all of the above? What I do know is that I don’t regret it. I’ve always wanted to be a “gamer” in a small sense of the word, (or wanted? I mean I loved playing Narnia on my friends Playstation when we were kids), but I never dared.

Thoughts like “you’re not good enough”, “people will laugh at you”, “others have been doing this longer than you, who do you think you are” have been central in my mind. Not only when it comes to this, but with other activities – like drawing.

But just because someone may be better at you at something doesn’t mean that you can’t do it, it doesn’t mean you should compromise on your own search of joy and happiness!

Well, that was it for todays rambling :’) I’m going to take out my Switch now and play for a couple of hours. I bought Zelda – Breath of the Wild and it’s such a beautiful game. I’m trying to enjoy it as much as possible. Have you tried it? Do you have a Switch? Are there any games you recommend?

2 Comments

  1. Maria B. Brandal

    Eg tenkjer at det er heilt normalt å bli lei hobbyen sin innimellom – Å bli lei noko ein egentlig elsker. Det er berre til å ta ein pause, og så kjem plutselig inspirasjonen tilbake igjen!

    Eg har så lyst på ein Switch! Eg tenkjer likt som deg der. Føler at eg uansett ikkje kan bli så godt som “alle andre” så kvifor prøve.. Men det er jo berre tull! Ein skal jo spille/tegne/ta bilder osv fordi ein synst det er kjekt, fordi ein har lyst.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. muskymusings

      Ja, det er vel kanskje det? Det blir bare et enda større hull for meg når jeg har Borderline. Jeg legger alt av identiteten min på slike ting, det blir veldig intenst, og når det da forsvinner så føler jeg at jeg er “ingenting” igjen.

      Nei, la oss ikke kompromisse på egen glede! : )

      Like

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